It
can be hard to remember how it felt to be a teen, caught in that gray area
between childhood and adulthood. Sure, it's a time of no responsibility and fun is the
main course in your daily activity, but it also can be a period of stress and
worry. There's pressure to fit in socially, to perform academically, and to act
responsibly. Usually, this is the time is when teens are trying to find their sexual
identity and relationships and a need for freedom that often conflicts with the
rules and expectations set by adults.
Recently I read an
excerpt from the book, “TEENAGE WASTELAND” written by Donna Gaines, and this piece
really brought to the forefront how big of an epidemic we actually were dealing with in teenage suicide.
In the story she explained how in March of 1987, the bodies of four teens was from
a small town were found dead in the back of a 1977 Chevrolet, Camaro of an apparent
suicide. Gaines was really upset, that in every article she had read about the
story, the four teens were openly being referred to as “troubled losers”, “Burnouts”,
“druggies”, and “dropouts.” Gaines goes on to state, “Even after they were
dead, nobody cut them any slack.” They
were Goth kids who made a pact to die together.
I found this to be disturbing. I’m scared to die alone, so to think I could
kill myself with four friends would be up surd. Nevertheless, that’s how I
think because the behaviors I was taught as a child. Some of us react different
to parents' divorce, having to move, or a parent leaving home due to military
service, just to name a few. A lot of
the time, parents tell their teens that they can come to them about anything, but
in reality, kids don’t actually believe that. They tend to keep things to their
selves and between and friends and bottle their feelings up inside.
In addition,
Gaines stated that according to established adult reasoning that, “If you didn’t
get absorbed into the legitimate, established routine of social activity, you’d
be left to burnout on the street corners, killing time, getting wasted.” This can
be another big problem for teens. They get out of school and have anywhere to
or nothing constructive to do. Indeed, this is a problem in our inner cities,
so to imagine the state of mind and the boredom that those teens from that
small town went through. When I was
young, if I told my mom I was bored and had nothing to do, she would say boy,
get out of my face, but these days, with the internet , video games, and technology
in general, I don’t see how anyone could get that bored, but that’s just my
personal opinion. My grandfather use to always tell me, Idle time, leads to an
idle mind. I took that as him saying, try to keep yourself busy, because if you
sit around thinking too much and that’s when the Devil gets a chance to in your
head, when you idle.
In short, some of the things we
can do as parents are looking at the warning signs. Some of the signs include: teens
who talk about suicide or death in general, or hints that they might not be
around anymore, or starts giving away treasured possessions to siblings or
friends. Many teens who commit or attempt suicide have given some type of
warning to loved ones ahead of time. So it's imperative for parents to know the
warning signs so teens who might be suicidal can get the help they need,
because if this blog can save one person, my job has been done.
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